EGO is the enemy

The tittle sounds like an accusation to some extent and sparks a lot curiosity. I was attracted to the tittle after listening to a podcast about Stoicism( a Greek philosophy about understanding things that depend on us and those that do not and how to stop wasting energy on the later and focus more on the former).

So let us start by defining ego which is defined as the self or in the Freudian sense(clinical psychology) as the most central part of your mind responsible for mediating between the conscious and unconscious minds but as context is always important for the purpose of this book “EGO is the unhealthy belief in our own importance” and we might call it other names like pride(which personally I feel is more characteristic).

Like many times we are standing in our own way and ego is somehow the mountain that we have to scale because if we take careful introspection which ironically will require us to put aside our ego we will begin to see that it is the enemy to everything that we want to accomplish or become and by extension affects those close to us as well. The author tries to show us the interaction between ego and the three stages or states that we constantly find ourselves in that is :Aspirations/hopes, success and failure and I will try to summarize the ideas. Let’s go!

1.TO EVERYTHING YOU ASPIRE EGO IS THE ENEMY.

At this stage we in the planning phase/admiring phase/inspirational phase or whatever term you feel suits it best but all in all we have not done anything regarding our ambition and to some extent this a stage where ego is most dangerous because it will keep us from doing what we are supposed to do to get the ball running.

It mostly manifests by TALK TALK TALK. We just talk about how we want to do this or that, learn this or that skill, talk about the challenges we think we will face, talk about all things that are favorable and we go on on without getting to work. So the idea is enough talk go to work.

TO BE OR TO DO? Another way ego manifests itself is by having an obsession of who we will become rather than what we are supposed at the moment: So much in love with becoming a musician but you do not want to start learning that musical instrument, So much in love with the idea of financial freedom and entrepreneurship but you can’t even sit down for a minute and draft a single business plan about those ideas of yours, and it stretches to images we project about our character, physical fitness, spirituality, relationships and careers. The thing is we become by doing and relishing that image in your mind will definitely deter you from starting because when you first try making music it might be awful and maybe that image of a star musician in your heard touring the world is a little more exaggerated and you will need more humbleness to master the art whether you are talented or not.

So being passionate is not enough sometimes it is not even necessary to do what needs to be done but what we need more is humility in order to learn from those we want to emulate and sometimes it is difficult as not all mentors are kind and lend a helping hand but trying to prove that you are just as learned as them will not benefit you and an idea is presented in the book called the canvas strategy(to find out more read the book!).

Finally at this stage what is most important is to go the ground and WORK, WORK and WORK(my former roommate once told me that only work pays! Though he said it jokingly but turns out to be true and the things he worked on have taken him places) and as usual look out for the dangers of early pride(after one successful event etc you think you are already an expert and you stop learning) because for whatever is to come next ego is the enemy.

2.TO WHATEVER SUCCESS YOU HAVE ACHIEVED EGO IS THE ENEMY.

At this point ego is most cunning and slips in unnoticed to the untrained eye after all you have won the championship, you are a preferred artist, your first profits have just come in , people are congratulating you and as you think you do deserve it(and you genuinely do) because you did the work(unless it’s luck which is rare anyway) but take heed as that can easily blind you and send you in a downward spiral that will destroy the very things you just worked for. As the adage goes “pride is the devil” and by extension “ you meet the devil at the crossroads” and if it is in the bible examples are everywhere from the origins.

In order to avoid this “pride” it is important to remain a student and continue because once you have reached the maximum point even if it is only your own head the only way is down. This is important because research shows that that people get more positive emotion when going in the direction of their desired goals compared to achieving the same goal and I personally think that what makes religious ideas/goals so profound as they are inexhaustible and you’ll always have a trail to chase.

Another thing is to stop telling ourselves stories( what about us who love poetry and grand narratives?) like you were there when you worked, when you practiced a thousand times, when you wrote a thousand drafts which you ripped in pieces, when you fell in love, in most cases there is no epiphany that we are so eager to tell ourselves and our audiences.

Most importantly at this stage the most cardinal thing is keeping in mind what is important to you because with success comes many more opportunities and ambitions and if your goal for example is financial freedom try to have a goal because if you simply want more and more which you can but at what cost?( quality time with our loved ones, your purity, integrity, your talent) and this can be seen from people who started well in one domain music for example and with popularity they thought even doing politics was possible.

Finally we need to avoid feelings of entitlement(the universe does not owe you anything) by remaining sober and one way to do that is by taking moments away from everything and contemplating on the immensity of the universe, history, God, beauty because we are neither the first nor the last and of course be cautious because for what follows next ego is the enemy.

3.TO WHATEVER FAILURE AND CHALLENGES YOU WILL FACE EGO IS THE ENEMY

Failure and challenges come whether because of your ego or not as the world is not always fair but ego is determined to make the situation even worse or permanent and extend the suffering to those around you if possible. You might think you are at the bottom of the abyss but ego is determined to go a lot further.

Two most important things here.

Firstly challenging times are what have built characters of great men and women who have ever walked on the surface of this planet and it important to step back reflect on what went wrong and see how you can improve and make things better because that is the purpose of memory in the most fundamental sense. So when in this phase it is important to try and capitalize on it despite it being the most difficult thing because most of the times we want to stand up and just prove to everyone how unfairly we have been treated.

Secondly is to learn that sometimes doing the work is enough like just do what you think you are supposed to do and draw satisfaction from that because sometimes the recognition we expect from people come late or never does or sometimes comes after we are long dead.

OPINIONS

The book did not delve so much into stoic philosophy as I hoped it would( it is like applied philosophy) meaning I have to put my ego aside and find other books that will do just that.

But the book is so insightful and simple and compliments my previous read “THE MOUNTAIN IS YOU” as ego is one of the mountains that have to be scaled in order to actualize our various potentials.

The other thing is it presents a moral conundrum which I do not know how to navigate that is “finding the right balance between a sense of self i.e standing up for oneself and ego” as the line is usually a thin one. This is because in most cases being good is confused with being nice.

Okay a quick reminder from the book for farewell

“Training is like sweeping the floor. Just because we’ve done it once, doesn’t mean the floor is clean forever. Every day the dust comes back. Every day we must sweep”

Okay another one before you go

“It is simple (though, as always, never easy

Not to aspire or seek out of ego.

To have success without ego.

To push through failure with strength, not ego”

Okay bye now, happy spring! @Chungamu