The thing around your neck

a book review

I started reading this book after I had forgotten the book I was currently reading(WAR & PEACE) at my sister’s but I was really captivated that I halted the other book despite being a long way from finishing it.

The Thing Around Your Neck is a collection of short stories mostly told from the perspective of women( was not surprised though it is Chimamanda we are talking about here) who live in different times and places but most are from Nigeria or are Nigerians living in the united states of America).

When I started reading the chapters I thought the story would come full circle but as the book went on I knew I was on goose chase in my search for a unifying narrative. I was disappointed sometimes because I felt some stories were cut short when they were just taking off but I was equally pleased to find other stories that seemed to be continuations of the previous ones to some extent.

The author being a feminist and having that fact in your head you see she is trying to present issues that women have been battling with and the various efforts that have been taken to mitigate those, she equally shows that some stories have been tragic and have ended in despair without any trace of hope to be drawn from the story.

I love the fact that she can take the essence of the African spirit, distill it and imbue it in a narrative that is both intellectually challenging, sarcastic, pleading and funny leaving you with questions on how you can address those issues; they are those kind of issues that are good for table discussions while sipping some fluids.

She addresses things like harassment(sexual harassment in particular) and how people in certain institutions they are taken to be the norm and it is either you adapt or you are eliminated because even if you leave they are women who will take you place and thereby reinforce the stereotypes and despite doing the right thing you might have to suffer for it at some point in time if you are to maintain your values.

Another thing she addresses is how addressing these different issues can can vary from one person to the other going from people who just give in to people who take radical steps like in one story of a girl who scared her brother from atop a tree just to make him the less desirable child but the brother ends up dying which is not worth the desire despite having a good cause or rather justifiable reasons for her behaviour in the first place. In another story a journalist writes up a story against the government which later leads to the murder of his child, he shows astounding bravery but is the life of his child worth it whereas other people affected by the same issues will just say “ you are brave” and move on with their lives.

In social relationships she talks about how sometimes women are put in different uncomfortable situations from cheating spouses who they know they are cheating but cannot even say something at times due to dependence to women who go in arranged marriages only to find that the man they have married is the least person they would be with if they were to make their own choices. The other challenge is also how sometimes despite trying to shape your life according to a partner then the person will just wake up one day and say the relationship has been over for quite some time(staid is the new word I learned). Personally I feel some problems arise from taking too much responsibilities before the time comes because in cohabiting you do all the duties of a spouse without being a spouse which is very weird.

She equally shows how western influence affects the perception of our culture especially for people who immigrate but by also how people who go abroad are looked ( like it is a social class of some sort) at sometimes without even knowing their living conditions which are a disaster in some cases. The western world is almost trying to write our history through their lenses which tends to make our own cultures either primitive or demonic and you can see with the coming of gender wars that they somehow just expect us to follow through which is anything but wise.

The religious questions from the stories are very intriguing as we have all kinds of people from reluctant church goers to atheists and everything in between and these things being more based on experience than objective truth it is difficult to judge who is right or wrong or we entirely miss the point who knows? In the same vein she talks about the religious tensions that have been in Nigeria and how certain tragic events can be summarised into a few sentences and how despite hearing those things you can meet people from the two sides of the table unified by their humanity despite any difference they might have in their beliefs.

All in all I love her style of writing and recommend the book to anyone looking for a quick read. I am in agreement with her all the time but it is good she can start the conversation and bless us with her peculiar writing style.

To my sister Eunice happy birthday

@Chungamu